Slice the chicken breasts like a hotdog bun, but down the side, not the middle: make a slit along its length so that it opens, but don’t cut it all the way through, only about three-quarters of the way to the other side.

Place the breasts (no jokes, please, gentlemen!) between two sheets of parchment paper and use a meat pounder to flatten them. If your hands are usually all thumbs and you don’t completely trust your own dexterity, you might want to grab some safety glasses. Better safe than sorry!

To make the stuffing, fry the sausage meat in the oil, add the spinach and give it a gentle stir, using your suavest touch to really make it swoon.

Open the chicken breasts, smooth the stuffing and the cheese inside and add seasoning.

Press the chicken breasts closed, making sure both sides of meat meet and the stuffing is stuffed safely inside. Use a couple of toothpicks (preferably unused!) to hold each chicken breast closed.

Sear the chicken breasts in a pan with butter, then transfer them to an oven-safe dish.

Bake the chicken breasts at 350 F (180 C) until they are cooked through (about 12 minutes). If you take them out of the oven too early and serve them undercooked, this will not be your finest hour.

Meanwhile, add a knob of butter to the pan you used to sear the chicken and sauté the shallots. Even if there’s not mush-room in the pan, add the mushrooms too.

Add the apple cider vinegar to deglaze the pan and free the meat juices. Don’t panic! Meat juices aren’t laden with sugar—carbs!—like fruit juices!

Now stir in the cream and give the sauce some time to thicken. That’s it, let’s take it nice and slow. Meanwhile, you can sauté the zucchini noodles in butter.

If you haven’t already saved the chicken from its fate in the oven, pull it out and let it cool on the counter for 4 minutes, then slice it in half, this time from top to bottom, to show off the stuffing.

Serve both halves of each chicken breast on a plate with a side of sautéed zucchini noodles. Season to taste. That’s assuming you have good taste. If you don’t, you only have yourself to blame!

Serve both halves of each chicken breast on a plate with a side of sautéed zucchini noodles. Season to taste. That’s assuming you have good taste. If you don’t, you only have yourself to blame!